Do vagina's smell?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
