Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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