man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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