Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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