that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
