So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
