OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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