It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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