Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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