Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
