the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
