I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
