he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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