I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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