I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
