Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
