Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
