Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
