i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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