Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
