i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
