She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
