i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
