Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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