I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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