When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
