I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
