Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
