that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
