ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
