i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she told me i tasted like america
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
