Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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