I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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