If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
