then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
