it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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