who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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