oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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