yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
