There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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