the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
