I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
