dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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