I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
