my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you inspire me to be a worse person
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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