The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
