you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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