She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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