Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Is it penis luge time yet?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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