I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
