Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
